Marriage
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Because of the serious nature of the life-long decision involved, marriage preparation is very important. As a result, the Archdiocese has set in place a process of marriage preparation. This process includes filing the necessary paperwork, attending a pre-marriage seminar, completing a couple inventory, and reviewing the results. This can be a lengthy process; therefore, couples should begin this process at least 12 months in advance of their desired wedding date.
The community of Immaculate Heart of Mary is happy to help you prepare to celebrate the Sacrament of Marriage whether you are celebrating your wedding here at IHM or elsewhere. Couples will be able to work with Father John and our music director, Rich Henriksen to prepare for their marriage ceremony.
For those who have been married before or who are concerned their marriage may not be recognized by the Catholic Church, please contact Fr. John Bauer, Pastor.
Policies for the Celebration of Marriage
Immaculate Heart of Mary Office:
952-935-1432
Ihm-cc.org
The staff at Immaculate Heart of Mary rejoices with you both in your love, and we congratulate you on your decision to celebrate your marriage in the presence of Christ and His Church.
The following directives are meant to assist you in making this a very happy day in your lives.
YOUR INITIAL ARRANGEMENTS WILL CONSIST OF FIVE PARTS:
1. Please contact the Parish Office as soon as possible. The office will gather the necessary information, reserve an available wedding date and arrange a short meeting to review policies. Please do this at least ten to twelve months in advance of your wedding date.
2. About ten to twelve months before your wedding, when you call the office, you will be instructed to make an appointment with the pastor of the parish. At your first meeting the Archdiocesan Prenuptial Questionnaire will be filled out. Please bring a copy of your Baptism certificate to that meeting.
3. At your first meeting with the priest you will take the Pre-Marriage Inventory. This inventory is a series of questions prescribed to help couples talk about important aspects of marriage. It is confidentially discussed at a later meeting.- Couples preparing for marriage are required to attend what is commonly referred to as a Marriage Retreat. The retreat cost is not included in IHM’s wedding fee. Couples may sign up for this retreat at any time. (Here are three options to choose from)
- The archdiocesan program called “Living in God’s Love” is a blending of spiritual and practical marriage preparation; the retreat takes place on a Friday evening and the following Saturday. The cost of this program is $250. Register at:http://www.archspm.org/sections/marriage-preparation/
- Christian Marriage Ministries, St. Williams Church, Fridley, MN.
Weekend Retreats:
▪ These are not an overnight
▪ Friday night runs from 7:00-9:00 pm, couples return Saturday 8:30 am-3:30 pm
▪ Cost is $150 per couple
▪ Lunch provided on Saturday
Tuesday Retreats:
▪ Three consecutive Tuesdays from 7:00-9:00 pm
▪ Cost is $135 per couple
https://engagedcouples.wixsite.com/retreats- Catholic Engaged Encounter is an overnight retreat which takes place on a Saturday and Sunday. The cost of this program is $240. Register at: https://www.ceemn.org/register
- You will also be asked to choose a mentor couple. Requirements for mentor couple are; must be married at least 5 years, be practicing Catholics; someone you can be open with. If it’s difficult to find a couple, the pastor will help you find a mentor couple from the parish. Instructions for the mentor couple will be provided by IHM.
- Natural Family Planning (NFP) classes: Natural Family Planning offers a scientific, moral, and healthy means to achieve or delay pregnancy; recommended programs include Couple to Couple League and Fertility Care Center. We do require that the couple take these classes. The wedding fee does not cover NFP classes; however, some medical insurance programs cover the cost of NFP classes. Couples may sign up for these classes at any time. https://www.archspm.org/?s=Natural+Family+Planning
4. Music for your wedding music meeting should be set up with the IHM Music Director, Rich Henriksen. Rich will be playing for your wedding. All music used in your wedding at IHM must be chosen in consultation with and approved by Rich. It is recommended that a parish cantor, familiar with liturgy at IHM, be used to assist the assembly with the sung parts of the Wedding service. Rich will help with selecting a cantor.
FEES CONNECTED WITH YOUR WEDDING
1. The stipend for a wedding at Immaculate Heart of Mary is $550 which covers the administrative process to help you prepare for your wedding, the use of the church and the organist/pianist which includes one visit and playing for the wedding.
2. Honorarium to priest - $125.
3. Cantor/Soloist - $175
***Payment for the church, priest, organist & cantor should be dropped off with the marriage license at least one week before the wedding.
DOCUMENTS NEEDED:
· You will be asked to provide Baptismal information for each of you. For Catholics, this must be a certified copy of your Baptismal Certificate issued within the past six months. This can be obtained by calling the parish in which you were baptized. For baptized non-Catholics, a photocopy or fax of the Baptismal Certificate is acceptable. (Please call the IHM parish office with questions)
· You must obtain a Marriage License at a local courthouse. Please bring the license to the parish office one week prior to the wedding. Marriage licenses can be obtained at the County Court Administrator’s Office (Section of Vital Statistics) at the County Courthouse. A license obtained in any county is valid for the entire State of Minnesota. The license is valid for six months from the date of issuance. Note: There is a seven-day waiting period after you apply. There is a fee for the Marriage License. Call the Courthouse for current fees.
· Before you contact the county for a marriage license, the parish secretary will give you a letter to apply for a discount on the license. The Pre-Marital Education Bill passed by the State of Minnesota provides for a reduction of the license fees if the couple has had 12 hours of marital education. The Pre-Marriage Retreat and Pre-marriage inventory with the pastor sessions satisfy this requirement.
**In cases where one or both of the parties had been previously married, further documents will be required, including copies of marriage certificates, divorce decrees or death certificates and annulment decrees, where necessary. The priest with whom you are working will be able to tell you what further documentation is required. He can also help you solve problems where documents are, for some reason, unobtainable.
NUPTIAL MASS OR CEREMONY:
When both the bride and groom are committed Roman Catholic Christians, weddings should be celebrated within the context of the Mass. There may be situations in which it is best not to celebrate the Mass even though both bride and groom are Catholic. The priest will discuss various options with you.
Interfaith marriages in this diocese are required to be without the Mass.
PRESIDER:
The parish priest will normally be involved in the preparation for marriage and will officiate at the wedding. A priest friend or relative of the couple may also be given permission by the Pastor of Immaculate Heart of Mary to officiate. A priest from outside the parish who is going to witness the marriage should be present for the wedding rehearsal.
Any visiting priest will require a letter from his Bishop stating he is in good standing. A letter from the local Chancery in St. Paul will give the pastor delegation to allow the visiting priest to officiate.
If an inter-faith marriage is to be celebrated in another Christian church, the pastor or minister of that church will officiate after the appropriate dispensation has been received from our church. A Catholic priest is not required to be present in such a case. A priest can be requested by the Catholic party to be present to witness the wedding. In this case, it is customary for the minister to send a letter of invitation to the priest inviting him to participate. The same invitation is required when a member of the clergy of another denomination is to be involved here at Immaculate Heart of Mary.
WITNESSES:
According to Canon Law of the Church, you need two witnesses in addition to the presider. You do not specifically need one man and one woman, and the witnesses do not need to be baptized. They do need to understand what is going on and so must have reached the age of reason (MN State law says witnesses must be at least 16 years of age) and be in full control of their reason. For example, if one or both of your witnesses are intoxicated or otherwise impaired, they may not fill this role.
TIME:
Weddings may be on Friday evening at 5:00 p.m. or later. During the summer, weddings may be at 4:00 p.m. or later. Weddings on Saturday may be no later than 2:00 p.m. because of the Reconciliation and Mass schedule.
Weddings are not scheduled on Sundays, Holy Days of Obligation or Major Liturgical Feasts
i.e.: Christmas & Easter) or during special parish events. Since the season of Lent is
traditionally a season of fast, penitence and preparation, weddings are normally not
scheduled during the season.
REHEARSAL:
The wedding rehearsal is arranged with the priest. Rehearsal is normally the day before the wedding. It can begin any time between 4:00 p.m. and 6:00 p.m. All participants in the
wedding should be present.
The rehearsal usually lasts 45 minutes.
Please bring your unity candle and program to the rehearsal.
Musicians are not needed at the rehearsal.
MUSIC:
As stated earlier in this booklet, all music for your wedding at Immaculate Heart of Mary will need to be approved by Rich Henriksen, music director.
When you have your music consultation with Rich, he will help you choose music. He will contact a cantor. One of our Immaculate Heart of Mary cantors are highly suggested to sing at your wedding if there is a Mass. Our musicians are familiar with the acoustics, musical standards, and the equipment in the church. If you are having a ceremony without a Mass a cantor is still required to sing any solos, Gloria, Responsorial Psalm, and Alleluia. Recorded music is not permitted.
If you desire additional instruments such as trumpet, flute, harp, etc., please discuss that at your meeting. Caution should be exercised when musicians from outside the parish are requested. It is required that musicians are familiar with the liturgy of a Catholic Mass.
UNITY CANDLE:
The unity candle ritual is a popular, but optional observance. You will need to provide your own Unity Candle and two taper candles. IHM will provide the base.
FLOWERS:
Couples can make whatever arrangements they prefer regarding flowers with a florist.
Flowers may be placed on the side or front of the free - standing altar. Flowers may not be placed on the altar itself. We do not allow the flower girl to scatter flower petals in the aisle during the procession.
There are times when the Church will be set up with flowers and other decorations to
highlight the season. These decorations remain in their places for all sacramental
celebrations including weddings.
PICTURES:
The photographer is asked not to move anything in the Sanctuary, and nothing is to be place on the Altar. Video recording is allowed provided it is done without distraction.
Pictures should stop one-half hour before the wedding begins. If pictures take place after the ceremony, they must be completed, and the church vacated by 3:30pm for confessions. Please keep this in mind when selecting the start time of your wedding.
ALTAR SERVERS:
If you have relatives who are altar servers, they may serve at your wedding.
READERS - GIFT BEARERS - EUCHARISTIC MINISTERS:
Couples who are celebrating their wedding in the context of the Mass will want to choose two people to present the bread and wine. Also, if there is an approved Eucharistic Minister, his or her help will be appreciated.
Couples are encouraged to choose one or two people to do the scripture readings at the wedding. Please take care to choose people who will be both comfortable and capable for this public speaking role. All readings will be taken from the liturgical resource book the parish will provide you with.
https://www.foryourmarriage.org/readings/
SEATING:
The Bride and Groom are seated in the sanctuary in front of the Ambo. All other attendants are seated in the first row of pews until they come forward for the exchange of vows and rings.
Parents are seated in the second pew.
AFTER THE WEDDING:
Ushers are asked to see that the Church is cleaned up after the wedding. This includes
programs, decorations on the pews, etc. Please see that no purses, wallets or other
valuables are left unguarded in the Church. IHM is not responsible for lost or stolen items.
PROGRAMS:
Before you print your program, please let the priest review it for correct order of worship, spelling, etc. A sample of the order of worship is included in the back of this folder.
PARISH POLICIES:
The wedding party is asked to respect the decorum of the Church both at the
rehearsal and the day of the wedding making sure any trash or personal belongings are picked up.
The use of drugs or alcoholic beverages is not permitted in the Church or on Church
property the day of the rehearsal or the day of the wedding. If you choose to ignore this
policy we reserve the right to cancel the wedding.
The throwing of rice, bird seed, confetti, shredded paper, etc. is not permitted in the Church or on Church property.
For your convenience we have provided you with an outline of the Nuptial Mass Wedding ceremony which you can follow in making the program for your wedding.
While pets are deeply loved, pets are not allowed to partake in the wedding ceremony.
OUTLINE OF THE NUPTIAL MASS/WEDDING CEREMONY:
Prelude (Usually instrumental/solos)
Seating of parents
Processional (Entrance of the wedding party)
Gloria
Opening Prayer
First Reading (Old Testament)
Responsorial Psalm (Sung)
Second Reading (New Testament)
Gospel Acclamation
The Holy Gospel
Marriage Vows
Blessing and Exchange of Rings
Unity Candle Ritual (Optional)
Prayers of the Faithful
*Preparation of the Gifts
*Eucharistic Prayer
Lord’s Prayer
Nuptial Blessing
*Communion
*Post-Communion meditation/Marian Devotion (optional)
Nuptial Blessing/Final Blessing
Recessional
*Element of the Nuptial Mass not included in the Wedding Ceremony
The Marriage License will be signed after the wedding ceremony.
Father John Bauer, Pastor
JBauer@ihm-cc.org – 952-935-1432
Rich Henriksen, IHM Music Director
rhenriksen@nokomishealth.com – 612-242-3426
Pam Sutherland, IHM Staff
Psutherland@ihm-cc.org – 952-935-1432